Hello all,
I just wanted to take a second and post for you a follow up from yesterday's post to show you a progression of my query letter. I have yet to hear anything positive from agent's, not even a partial request, so I thought it best to go back to the drawing board. This was my second attempt, which I'm not super psyched about, but you'll get the idea of how it evolved with time and a little elbow grease. Message me with more tips if you have them - I really appreciate the responses I got with the last post...so here we go! FYI I also changed the title of my novel to have a more catchy #hashtaggy sort of name (not that "hashtaggy" is a word, but in this day and age anything goes, right?)
Dear AGENT:
Sixteen-year-old Gavin Ashmore had always suspected his
family was different, maybe even insane to the point of hearing voices and
seeing “ghosts.” His own father
had even walked out on the family when he was younger, insisting that someone
was after him, putting their whole family in danger.
But lifelong loner Gavin doesn’t believe, won’t believe
any of it. He has other mundane teenage drama to deal with – his politician
step-father, the class bullies, and rolling his eyes as the cheerleaders “LOL”
with each other. That’s why he takes it
upon himself to wish for a different life on his sixteenth birthday.
But Gavin wasn’t prepared for how different his life
was about to become.
For one, there’s his newly discovered, beautiful guardian
angel, Alina, who saves him from certain death, propelling Gavin full throttle
into the Otherworld, the realm of spirits who have unfinished business on
earth. Second, there’s the evil spirit Cain, trying to resurrect himself to
deal with some centuries-long grudge and take over the world. Third, there’s
that little bit about Gavin being the Unbroken, a curse bearer that stands as
the only hurdle stopping Cain from fulfilling his darkest desires. Puberty was
nothing compared to this dramatic change. Life was about to be different for
Gavin Ashmore...big time.
My debut novel, I Am Unbroken (100,000 words) is a
contemporary YA fiction, entering the mind of a teenage boy dealing with many
of the challenges that confront teens today, such as step parents, popularity,
life goals, love and death. The dynamic love interest between the protagonist,
Gavin, and his guardian angel creates a whole host of interesting possibilities
that should entertain any young adult.
Even though I’ve entered the professional world with a
career in dentistry, I feel as though deeply ingrained within me is a passion
to create worlds, characters, and plots through literature. My day is filled
with anxious patients and caring for my little girls at home, but sitting down
at the keyboard to write a few lines disconnects me from that world of reality
and lets me enter into a whole new one that’s my own making. I hope to have the
opportunity to share this world with others.
Thank you in advance for your consideration, as well as your
time, which I know is precious. While I have included a sample of my first
chapter, a full manuscript is available for you upon request.
Sincerely,
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