Thursday, December 3, 2015

Query Letter Version 2 -- (Not my most recent version)


Hello all,

   I just wanted to take a second and post for you a follow up from yesterday's post to show you a progression of my query letter. I have yet to hear anything positive from agent's, not even a partial request, so I thought it best to go back to the drawing board. This was my second attempt, which I'm not super psyched about, but you'll get the idea of how it evolved with time and a little elbow grease. Message me with more tips if you have them - I really appreciate the responses I got with the last post...so here we go! FYI I also changed the title of my novel to have a more catchy #hashtaggy sort  of name (not that "hashtaggy" is a word, but in this day and age anything goes, right?)

  Dear AGENT:

Sixteen-year-old Gavin Ashmore had always suspected his family was different, maybe even insane to the point of hearing voices and seeing “ghosts.”  His own father had even walked out on the family when he was younger, insisting that someone was after him, putting their whole family in danger.

But lifelong loner Gavin doesn’t believe, won’t believe any of it. He has other mundane teenage drama to deal with – his politician step-father, the class bullies, and rolling his eyes as the cheerleaders “LOL” with each other.  That’s why he takes it upon himself to wish for a different life on his sixteenth birthday.

But Gavin wasn’t prepared for how different his life was about to become.

For one, there’s his newly discovered, beautiful guardian angel, Alina, who saves him from certain death, propelling Gavin full throttle into the Otherworld, the realm of spirits who have unfinished business on earth. Second, there’s the evil spirit Cain, trying to resurrect himself to deal with some centuries-long grudge and take over the world. Third, there’s that little bit about Gavin being the Unbroken, a curse bearer that stands as the only hurdle stopping Cain from fulfilling his darkest desires. Puberty was nothing compared to this dramatic change. Life was about to be different for Gavin Ashmore...big time.

My debut novel, I Am Unbroken (100,000 words) is a contemporary YA fiction, entering the mind of a teenage boy dealing with many of the challenges that confront teens today, such as step parents, popularity, life goals, love and death. The dynamic love interest between the protagonist, Gavin, and his guardian angel creates a whole host of interesting possibilities that should entertain any young adult.  

Even though I’ve entered the professional world with a career in dentistry, I feel as though deeply ingrained within me is a passion to create worlds, characters, and plots through literature. My day is filled with anxious patients and caring for my little girls at home, but sitting down at the keyboard to write a few lines disconnects me from that world of reality and lets me enter into a whole new one that’s my own making. I hope to have the opportunity to share this world with others.

Thank you in advance for your consideration, as well as your time, which I know is precious. While I have included a sample of my first chapter, a full manuscript is available for you upon request.

Sincerely,

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